Saturday, May 15, 2010

Res Speeches Revisited

I took the time to browse through a list of all the quotes out of Portal, after BBB's post today reminded me of the wonderfulness that is the Portal game. As such, I've added the following macros into my res-speech repertoire... you can find my full, comprehensive list here :)
  • Not in cruelty / Not in wrath / The REAPER came today / An ANGEL visited / %T's gray path / And took the cube away
  • Because %T could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; the cube had food and maybe ammo. And immortality.
  • So I'm GLaD %T got burned. Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive.
  • Aperture Science; We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except %T who is dead.
  • Who's going to make the cake when %T is gone? Me?
  • You euthanized yourself more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations, %T.
  • This next boss could take a very, very long time. If you become lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out, like %T. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.
  • As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. When the testing is over, %T will be...*bzzt*... missed.
  • Despite the best efforts of the Enrichment Center Staff to ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, %T has managed to die inside this room. A complimentary revival will be performed in three, two, one...
  • While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High-Energy Zones seen in many cases as black, green, red, or blue puddles can and have caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporization. Please be careful, %T.
  • As part of a required raid protocol, a previous statement suggesting that we would not heal this raid was an outright fabrication. Good job, %T. As part of a required raid protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three, two, o--
  • %T: please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any protocol, but an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Resurrection Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Ahh fun times. I considered making one out of the cake recipe... but that just got a little morbid!

2 comments:

Alyae said...

You should make a rez macro that says.

Sorry %t, it would interrupt my healing rotation if i healed you.

Kae said...

Haaa! So true.