Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Resurrection Speeches

May 2010: I am still watching and updating this list :) Have added a lot in the past month!

A list of my res announcements, gathered and tweaked and used with amusement! I use LunarSphere to randomly select one from the list whenever I res someone. Instructions for setting that up can be found here.

My own:
  • %T, you owe me a cookie for this.
  • Fear not, %T; my res is not "bearform CPR."
  • Don't ask where I'm putting this acorn, %T, but it's uncomfortable enough to wake the dead. (In honor of Maxhunter)
  • Rise up and fight once more, %T! For honor, for glory, for a chicken sandwich!! (In honor of Darthcourt)
  • %T... I know they said there was candy over there, but you can't eat it if you're dead!
  • Treebot 80 in operation. Scanning puddle of goo labeled "%T." Prognosis: lifesigns negative. Commencing resurrection.
  • *pokes %t with a stick* Um, guys? I think it's still alive...
  • %t died! /roll for blame!
  • So, how much experience do I get for killing %t?
  • Oi, I thought we had a rule about "No dieing," %T!
  • I think %T is taking "DIAF" a bit too literally, especially with all these fires around. Maybe we should change it to something like, Die In An Ocean. DIAO! Has a ring to it... if only the next expansion wasn't flooded with Naga. Oh well.
  • Grandma always said laughter was the best medicine. /point @%T, /laugh
  • %T! What have I told you about running with scissors?!
  • Sorry %t, it was either keep you alive or let the cookies burn.

Miscellaneous Quotes:
  • A wild %T appears! I choose you, Pikachu! Thundershock-res, go!
  • I choose you, %T!
  • A wild %T! It looks weakened. Pok├ęball, go!
  • Dream as if you'll live forever, %T... and live as if you'll die today and I decide not to res you again.
  • Look at my mask, %T! Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!
  • Ah ha! %T down! FLAMING HANDS OF FIREY DOOM--I mean... /revive.
  • You have to remember something: we're dealing with raiders like %T. They need to be terrified of death. It's like mother's milk to them. Without it, their bones won't grow back properly when we res them.
  • Rebirthing now / I wanna live my life, wanna give you everything / Breathe for the first time now / %T comes alive somehow
  • Days go on forever / But I have not left your side / We can chase the dark together / If %T goes then so will I

From the Forums/Blogosphere:
  • Yay! I always wanted my very own %T-zombie!
  • Death-defying feats are clearly not your strong point, %T.
  • Arise, %T, and fear death no longer... or at least until the next pull.
  • %T, this better not be another attempt to get me to give you mouth-to-mouth.
  • %T, stop hitting on the Spirit Healer and come kill something!
  • Cool, I received 42 silver, 32 copper from Corpse of %T.
  • Resurrecting %T. Side effects may include: nausea, explosive bowels, and a craving for brains. Resurrection is not for everyone. Please consult healer before dying.
  • GAME OVER, %T. To continue press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, B, A, Select + Start
  • %T, your subscription to Life™ has expired. Do you wish to renew?(note: alt 0153 on the numpad will create the ™ symbol)
  • It just so happens that %T is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
  • Death comes for you, %T! With large, pointy teeth!
  • Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo... that's the best ambulance impression I can do, %T.
  • Hey %T! Don't go towards the light! Well, unless it says 'Accept' ... but even then, it might be a trick!
  • Applying my magical life-giving spatula to %T, the perfect tool for un-sticking a faceplant!
  • The play is currently under review.... The ruling on the field has been overturned. %t will not be charged a Time Out.
  • Well, %t, if you had higher faction with (Player Name), you might have gotten a heal. How do you raise it? 1g donation= 15 rep.
  • Game Over, %T. Insert 50¢ to play again. (note: alt 0162 on the numpad will create the ¢ symbol. Also, I think I will avoid using this one, cuz I know what my guildies would say about inserting money...)
  • Hope this works, %t. The last one I tried this on couldn't stop eating everyone's brains.
  • %t Dead. Me press button. It bring back %t. We happy and hold hands :D
  • Dammit, %t, get up! How do you expect me to loot the mobs you're supposed to be killing?
  • Sorry for the delay %t, but I had to get your soul shard back from the warlock.
  • The first time you mention "Braaaains" I'm putting you back down, %t.
  • %T, before I res you there is something you should know. I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
  • Don't worry, %T, tis but a scratch!
  • How are you feeling, %t? Sore? Everywhere? Need cookies?
  • Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. %t will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.
  • Forgive me, %t, your death only adds to my failure!
  • Forgive me, %t! Your death only adds to your repair bill!
  • The play is currently under review.... The ruling on the field has been overturned. %t will not be charged a Time Out.
  • studiesshowthatbythetimeyoufinishreadingallofthis%tmightpossiblyalreadybealive!
  • Ok, one more time. The bad guys are supposed to die, the good guys are supposed to live. And %t? We're the good guys.
  • %t, stop worshiping the ground I walk on and get up.
  • It's not that I didn't try to heal you, %t, I simply found it more mana efficient to rez you.
  • DISCLAIMER: I learned how to rez from a recipe on the AH, so accept at your own risk, %t.
  • Now ressing %T... step back ,this could get ugly!
  • Walk it off, %T.
  • %T's death was merely a setback!
  • Get up, %t. It's not healthy to be dead that long.
  • Well, %t, if you had higher faction with me, you might have gotten a heal. How do you raise it? 1g donation= 15 rep.
  • %T has encountered a fatal error. Rebooting...
  • Giving %t a shot at another 10% durability loss, please stand by.
  • Let's give %t a round of applause for that beautiful demonstration of what not to do.
  • Anybody know what the respawn time on %t is?
  • Sorry %t, I was too busy rolling my face across the keyboard while shouting PEW PEW!
  • Sorry %t, it was either keep you alive or heat up some pizza rolls.
  • Well %t, you tried your best. And apparently failed miserably. Good job.
  • Giving %t another chance to noob it up.
  • I used to try mouth-to-mouth, but %t always came back pretty pissed off.
  • Come on, %t, you need to learn to heal yourself better, I have wanding to do.
  • Grandaddy always said laughter was the best medicine. I guess it wasn't strong enough to keep %t alive.
  • Don't rush me %t. You rush a miracle worker, you get rotten miracles.
  • (Caster)'s corpse removal service here to serve. Looks like you have a fresh %T for me, I'll get that out of your hair in about 8.89 seconds.
  • Don't rez %t yet! I'm still extracting a kidney...
  • Repeat after me, %T: 'Goblin landmines are NOT frizbees.'
  • %T 0, monster 1, and the crowd roars!!
  • %t, spamming /beg was a nice touch, but the monster was clearly unimpressed.
  • How's that ground taste, %t?
  • Congratulations %t, you passed the idiot test. You are now certified!
  • Casting Siphon Gold on %T. Please press accept to rez and transfer 100 gold to (Caster)'s bank.
  • Today's category on Final Jeopardy: Spells that end in 'essurection'. %t, ready?
  • The name of the game is 'Stay Alive'. %t fails. But since you're cute, I'll give you another chance.
  • %t, you have been weighed, and you have been measured... and I have been found rezing.
  • You don't deserve a cute rez macro, %t. You deserve to die. But you already did, so, um... yeah.
  • %T, I gotta have more cowbell!
  • What do you get when you combine %t with some mobs? I don't know, but it looks pretty messy here trying to scrap it off the floor.
  • %t's soul seems to have disconnected from the body. Researchers believe this may be directly related to HP levels. Please stand at least 10 yards away from the corpse while I attempt drastic measures to reconnect %t.
  • 1 mana = 1G, %t. Your total comes up to 2517g, plus 211g tax. By accepting this rez, you hereby accept the life binding contract. Make sure you also read the EULA. Have a nice day!
  • Priests, get Shackle ready. I've only done this twice, and one turned all 'Army of Darkness.'
  • Eww... gross, %T. My res is not an aoe spell! Would someone mind helping mop the pieces closer together so I don't bind %T's soul to just an arm or toe?
  • Sorry %t, it would have interrupted my healing rotation if I had healed you.

Dragon Age
  • That's what I'm here for, %T. To deliver resses with witty one-liners.
  • Look, %T! Your bruises form a pretty pattern!
  • Well! %T's not half as dead as they look, are they?


  • Alright, %T, I'm going to res you. Just relax and let your mind go blank... shouldn't be hard for you, considering you're, well, dead.
  • So you just figured you'd come here, to the most hostile environment known to men, with no training of any kind, and see how it went? What was going through your head, %T?
  • Arise, %T, and we will see if your insanity can be cured.
  • Nothing's over while I'm breathing, %t!
  • Sooner or later, though, %t, you always have to wake up.
  • Sometimes your whole life boils down to one insane move... lucky for you, %t, I can give you another chance.

Star Wars:

  • I find your lack of life disturbing, %T.
  • Not a bad bit of resurrection, huh, %t? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.
  • Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... %t's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
  • You know, between the raid's howling and %t blasting everything in sight, it's a wonder the whole instance doesn't know we're here.
  • You don't need to see %t's identification. This isn't the corpse you're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along.
  • I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened... oh wait, no, that was just %t.
  • Judging by your current state, I suggest a new tactic, %t: let the wookie win.

  • We're not gonna die. We can't die, %T. You know why? Because we are so...very...pretty.
  • %T died! What can we do? We're all doomed! Who's healing this party!? ...Oh right, that would be me. Back to work.
  • Here lies my beloved %t, a lot less attractive now that you're all corpsified and gross.

  • Please note, %T, that there is a consequence for failure. Any time your health bar reaches 0% will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death.
  • Greetings, %T. In dangerous raiding environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, having 0% health will kill you. Try to avoid it.
  • Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, %T, but they cut it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry and click accept.
  • Did you know, %T, that grief counseling and cake will be available at the end of the testing period?
  • The Enrichment Center is committed to the well-being of all participants. Cake and Grief Counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you, %T, for helping us help you help us all.
  • Area and State regulations do not allow %T to remain here, alone and companionless.
  • Not in cruelty / Not in wrath / The REAPER came today / An ANGEL visited / %T's gray path / And took the cube away
  • Because %T could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me; the cube had food and maybe ammo. And immortality.
  • So I'm GLaD %T got burned. Think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive.
  • Aperture Science; We do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us. Except %T who is dead.
  • Who's going to make the cake when %T is gone? Me?
  • You euthanized yourself more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations, %T.
  • This next boss could take a very, very long time. If you become lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out, like %T. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.
  • As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. When the testing is over, %T will be...*bzzt*... missed.
  • Despite the best efforts of the Enrichment Center Staff to ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, %T has managed to die inside this room. A complimentary revival will be performed in three, two, one...
  • While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High-Energy Zones seen in many cases as black, green, red, or blue puddles can and have caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporization. Please be careful, %T.
  • As part of a required raid protocol, a previous statement suggesting that we would not heal this raid was an outright fabrication. Good job, %T. As part of a required raid protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three, two, o--
  • %T: please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any protocol, but an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Resurrection Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.

Baldur's Gate (Minsc and Boo!):

  • Take heart %T, for you have curried the favor of Boo, the only miniature giant space hamster in the Realm!
  • This death will not dampen %T's wrath. %T will be ressed! Butts shall be liberally kicked in good measure.
  • Will you accept my res, %T? We must join together once more, and our fury will be such that bards will run their quills dry! Yes, ink will be scarce where e'er we go.
  • This dieing behavior must not continue, %T. Feel the burning stare of my hamster and change your ways.
  • We must rest and get healthy. It would not do for us to be caught unsuspecting with %T in this kind of shape.
  • Yes! Revenge! Revenge for precious %T! Tremble, ye evil raid bosses, for the mighty Boo will have your eyes!! RAAAARRRRGHH!!
Doctor Who:
  • %T, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with an acorn!
  • The daleks would say that %T is superior to them in only one respect: %T is better at dyeing.
  • Such was the way %T ended. Not with a bang, but a whimper.
  • It's our strongest impulse, to cling to life with every fiber of being! %T's only doing what everyone before us has tried to do. We've simply been more... successful at it.
  • The wonderful world of raiding... the prettier it looks, the more likely it is to kill you, eh %T?
  • You need to get yourself a better dictionary, %T. When you do, look up "raid wipe." You'll find a little picture of me there, and the caption'll read "Over my dead body."
  • Everybody knows that everybody dies, %T. But not every day. Not today... every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives.
  • One lifetime's been too short for %T to do everything they'd like. How much more they'll get done in two, or three, or four resses.
  • Killing you once is never enough for me, %T. How...how gratifying to do it another time over.
  • And the good thing is, %T's not dead for long, I GET TO KILL %T AGAIN!

Have a funny res announcement of your own? I'd love to add to the list :)


Averna said...


I love the portal ones. That's just awesome.

Is there a macro that you use which randomly whispers one of these to the target you rez?

Kae said...

You can macro one to be a whisper, but I prefer to use LunarSphere's speech scripts to just /say it out in chat. It gets a lot of laughs in PuGs!

Animagis said...

My guildmates have a special appreaciation for my Battle Rez macro:

"The play is currently under review.... The ruling on the field has been overturned. %t will not be charged a Time Out."


Great list you've got here.

Anonymous said...

I've been using my favorite rez macro since BWL:

"Forgive me %t, your death only adds to my failure!"

I used to /y it, for giggles, but I've since moved it to a /s.

You have a very humourus list =)


Arael said...

Why I don't see this great phrase:

"Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. %t will be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster."

Muldreg said...

Man I love the Firefly ones! Can't wait to try them out.

Unknown said...

%t says, "Hey Doctor (Caster Name), why are both your hands on my shoulders?"

(Caster says), "That's the way we ressurect people where I come from, %t."

Valkyri said...

Love the Portal ones, priceless!

Hope to see more :)


Kittiri said...

By accepting this rez, %%t%% hereby signs over his/her soul to me for all eternity. Have a nice life. ^.^

Anonymous said...

ofcoure i came back for you,%T, and even the next time, and maybe a third, but after that youll have to start walking

just remember %T, its three rezes then your out!